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If you are like most women, you have probably bee tuaght to be ‘nice’ and a ‘people pleaser’. The trouble with this is that everyone else will be pleased EXCEPT you!
If you are feeling like a pressure cooker about to explode, or as if you are running on an empty fuel tank, it’s time to practice saying NO.
Piling On Stress
Not being able to say no can greatly contribute to elevated stress and poor physical health. Trying to do too much is a fast way to get burned out. It can add to chronic stress, and people who cannot say no are usually the first to fall victim to bad health.
It is important to understand your own boundaries and limitations. While helping others is important, you have to take care of yourself first in order to be able to care for anyone else. This means sometimes saying no to friends and family, in order to maintain an optimal level of health and wellness for yourself.
Feelings Of Obligation
This is by far the most common cause of resentment between people, because they are basically “forced” to say yes whether or not they want to. Maybe the person asking did a major favor for you in life, maybe it is a family member you can’t avoid, but either way, they keep coming to you over and over again.
If this is the case, you need to ask yourself “When have I paid them back in full?” You can make it clear that you appreciate what they did in the past but you’ve done a lot since and are on you own path and mission in life. With so few waking hours in the day, you need to follow your path.
Learning to say no is important so you don’t enable others to commit bad behavior. If you never say no to a child, for example, they will become very spoiled and impossible to deal with.
From friends begging you for a loan to fuel their unnecessary spending, to people asking you to go out drinking with them when you suspect they have an alcohol problem, it is in their best interests to say no, and mean it.
Avoid Suffering in Silence
There have undoubtedly been numerous times when you have sat in silence, suffering and fuming. This is not healthy. You might not be able to control other people, but you CAN control the way you react to others. You might hate confrontation, but sometimes it is the only way to effect positive change in your life.
NO is NOT a bad word. It is actually one of the healthiest choices you can make. You deserve to be your best self and live your best life. That being the case, practice saying it in front of a mirror. No, I’m sorry will give you the freedom you are longing for.
One final point-do NOT give a reason. That would leave the door open to them trying to get around you and make you say yes. Say no, and mean it. End of discussion. You will be a lot happier and healthier once you master this.
Valentine’s Day is a day set aside each year (on February 14th) to say, “I love you”. Usually people consider Valentine’s Day a day for lovers – and it IS a day for lovers but it is also a day to say, “I love you” to other people in your life.
Red roses are the number one (make that only) choice of flowers to send to the lady love of your life. The meaning of the red rose is ‘love and passion’ but roses are available in different colors and each color has a special meaning.
You might send yellow roses to your parents. Yellow roses symbolize warmth and happiness. Your parents provided you with warmth and happiness for all of your growing-up years so you (both sons and daughters) should send yellow roses to parents on Valentine’s Day this year.
If you have a young daughter or a young niece or God daughter that you want to remember on Valentine’s Day, send her white roses. White roses symbolize “purity and innocence”. They are the perfect flower to send to the young girls in your life.
Send pink roses to your grandparents. Pink roses symbolize grace and elegance. Your grandparents are graceful and elegant so tell them that you love them with a bouquet of pink roses on Valentine’s Day.
Different kinds of roses also have significance. A bouquet of petite roses symbolizes affection. Petite roses are also known as sweetheart roses. A single long stemmed rose says, “Thank you” or “Good job”.
Send roses for Valentine’s Day and choose the ones that will deliver the right message to each person in your life that you care about.
One of the most universally recognized symbols of Valentine’s Day is Cupid. Legend has it that Cupid (that winged creature that makes us fall in love) is actually equipped with two kinds of arrows. He has golden arrows which cause true love when they penetrate the heart but he also has arrows made of lead which cause wanton sensual passion.
Cupid is the Roman god of love. He is said to be the son of Venus (the goddess of love) and is usually depicted as a chubby, mischievous child with wings who is armed with a bow and a quiver containing a never-ending supply of golden arrows. He uses the bow to shoot a golden arrow into the heart of the unsuspecting victim causing them to fall in love with the next person they meet.
There is a mythological story that describes how Venus, while playing with her son, is scratched by one of his arrows and then falls instantly and helplessly in love with Adonis…the first man she saw after receiving the wound.
In Greek mythology Cupid is known as Eros and is the winged son of Aphrodite. Cherubs are believed to be the descendants of Eros and they are usually depicted as lovable little winged angles that are not armed with bows and arrows.
If Cupid aims an arrow in your direction this Valentine’s Day, just hope that he uses a golden arrow and not one that was made of lead. Wanton desire ends, but true love lasts forever.
The famous Shakespearean quote, “Sweets to the sweet” is one that often accompanies boxes of chocolates or other candies given to women by the men who love them on Valentine’s Day. On Valentine’s Day this year it is expected, that there will be more than $2.4 million spent on heart shaped boxes of candy. There will likely be more than 36 million boxes of candy sold. Candy is ranked only number two on the list of Valentine’s Day gifts…just behind roses.
So how is it that giving candy as a Valentine gift became a tradition? It is rather hard to say but commercial candy making developed during the early nineteenth century with the advancement of automation and the discovery of sugar beet juice.
The human craving for sweets can probably be attributed to the first caveman who robbed a bee hive. Humans love sweets of all kinds but they especially love chocolate. The rest of the world loves chocolate but Americans REALLY love chocolate. As a matter of fact the very first commercial chocolate factory was built in New England twenty years before the American Independence was declared and the American Revolutionary War was fought. Americans love chocolate and they will consume more than 3 BILLION pounds of it this year.
Chocolate will be the number one selling candy this Valentine’s season. Coming in second are those little pastel colored hearts that are inscribed with love messages. These little hearts are called “conversation hearts” and have such inscriptions as “Luv U” or “Go Away” printed on them.
Yes, “Sweets to the sweet” is what makes the gift of candy such a wonderful and thoughtful Valentine’s Day gift! And who doesn’t love a treat, especially chocolate!
There are several theories about where and how St. Valentine’s Day got started. The real reason why, each year we celebrate love on the fourteenth day of February, may always be shrouded in mystery, but there is no shortage of the legends about why this is true.
One theory is that Valentine was a priest who defied Emperor Claudius II in Rome during the third century. Claudius, it is said, decided that single men made better soldiers than married men, so he issued a decree making it illegal for young men to marry. The priest, Valentine, continued to perform wedding ceremonies in spite of the decree. He just performed the ceremonies in secret. When Claudius found out about Valentine’s disobedience, he ordered him executed.
Valentine’s Day contains vestiges of ancient Roman tradition as well as Christian tradition. The Catholic Church has at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom are martyred, that is, who died for their faith.
There are stories that suggest that St. Valentine was killed by the Romans for helping Christians escape from Roman prisons. There is also a legend that says that Valentine actually sent the first Valentine greeting himself to a young woman (rumored to have been the daughter of one of his jailers) while he was imprisoned. The legend claims that Valentine wrote a love letter to her before his death and signed it, “From your Valentine”. (This is the legend that I like the most.)
You can choose the legend that you like the best. Just don’t forget to send Valentine’s Day greetings to all of those you care about on February 14th…and especially to that special someone in your life! Valentine’s Day is the day to celebrate love in all of its many forms. And fortunately, thanks to e-cards, you can manage it even at the last minute, so long as you do!