AVOIDING THE ROSE COLORED GLASSES
Keeping that spark alive is also a question of clear vision, and not viewing everything through rose-colored glasses. The person you have sparked with may be great as a date, but as a person you want to share a long-term future with? He might be Mr Right Now, not Mr Right.
Again, this is fine if you’re both clear and honest about your desires and expectations. If you don’t see eye to eye, and each have a different focus, and a different vision of the future, however, there will be a lot of resentment, anger, and frustration, which will eventually suffocate even the best relationships.
A CHANGE OF FOCUS?
Romance can also involve looking at a person you already know in a whole new way. In other words, a change of focus.
For instance, there’s the ‘person next door’: guy or girl you have tons in common with, and spend so much time with, that you get to the point where you would rather be with them than anyone else.
Does shifting your focus from the platonic to the romantic involve a slow burn, major sparkage, or idle curiosity, or convenience? Or an avoidance of loneliness?
DIFFERING POINTS OF VIEW
There’s nothing wrong with any of these reasons, but it is best to be honest about it. Otherwise, from that person’s point of view he or she might be turning you into ‘the one’ and you’re just looking for a friend with benefits. Again, it is a question of focus.
LOOK WITHIN CLEARLY
It’s best to take a long look at yourself first, before engaging in a relationship of this sort. Even worse, if you live in close proximity, it could be the romantic equivalent of dumping garbage or even toxic waste on your own doorstep. Not a good idea!
The best way to decide if the person is Mr. Right or Mr. Right now is to be honest about who you are and where you want to go in life. If you can picture them on that journey into the future with you, then they may be worth spending time on. Just remember, you can’t get back any wasted time if they do not have the same view of the future that you do.
