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Keeping the Romance in Your Relationship Part 2

YOU’VE LOST THAT LOVIN’ FEELING?

If you have been together for some time with your partner, and feel that passion had gone onto the back burner, or worse still, in the freezer with the ready meals, why not consider a romance agreement?

It might help you spark things anew, or at least put your needs as man and woman back out on the table, and possibly even defrost them too. We will give an exampe of one later in this series.

PASSION IS FOR PARENTS TOO!
Yes, you might be parents, but what were all the things you loved most about each other that brought you together in the first place.

And as someone once said to me, “You most important job as a parent is loving your partner, because no matter what, you will always be connected through that child.”

What kind of connection, or dis-connection, are you creating in your house?

As your children are growing up, you will constantly be giving them messages about how to express love, and what makes a good marriage.

Obviously, the sexual side of your relationship should always remain private around small children and other members of you family and friends, but an atmosphere of appreciation, romance and connection, love and affection, is something you can cultivate with your partner all the time.

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE

Best of all, the best things in life really are free, or inexpensive. It doesn’t take much to leave a love note, send a ‘Thinking of You’ text message or email, or bring up a cup of coffee to your partner before you head off it work. There are so many different ways to show you are thinking of your partner, it is just a case of knowing his or her likes and needs.

LOVE THEM THEY WAY THEY WISH TO BE LOVED, NOT THE WAY YOU WISH TO LOVE THEM—OR BE LOVED YOURSELF

We might think that we ARE trying to cultivate romance, and our partner is the ‘unromantic one’. This perspective can cause hositlity and resentment.

But remember, everyone has their own point of view. Most of the time, we are in our own head; often, we can even get stuck there and become convinced that ours is not only the RIGHT point of view, but IS actually the ONLY point of view.

We tend to love the way WE wish to be loved. We probably don’t give our guy a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, just like they don’t give us a socket wrench set for our birthday.

But are there expectations in your relationship on his part, or yours, which are equally out of synch with their likes and dislikes?

THE BEST OF TIMES, THE WORST OF TIMES
Can you name three of the best times you ever had with your partner—do they have a common theme? Can they do the same? Can you come up with the three WORST times you spent together as well?

BEST and WORST are also very subjective notions, but chances are if you and your partner cultivate more times like the ones on your top 3 lists, your connections will continue and grow even closer.

Again, LISTEN to your partner, taking the trouble to learn THEIR likes and dislikes. Try not to hear what they are saying with a ‘filter’ of your own tastes, or some preconceived notion of what romance ‘is supposed to be like’. Really listening with your heart and mind will help you discover the way THEY actually wish to be loved.

Read more in:
Keeping the Romance in Your Relationship Part 3

January 21, 2012By admin Romance love, relationships, romanceLeave a Comment

Keeping the Romance in Your Relationship Part 1

Keeping the romance in your relationship is really all about staying connected with one another.

How do you stay connected? By spending time with each other, sharing with each other, and yes, through the connection of sex.

COUPLES COUPLE!
Sex is the ultimate connection and reason why a couple is together as a couple—to couple! Otherwise, you could just go to dinner or the movies with anyone, and get a baby via the sperm bank!

Clearly, humans feel a natural sexual desire and passion, and seek a healthy outlet for it.

If intercourse gives you thrombosis
And continence causes neurosis,
I’d rather expire
Fulfilling desire
Than live in a state of psychosis.

So why does sex in the 21st century seem so problematic that advice about it is screamed at us from every magazine headline? If we are living in much more liberated times than ever before, just what IS the trouble with sex?

Sexual intercourse began
In nineteen sixty-three
(Which was rather late for me)—
Between the end of the Chatterley ban
And the Beatles’ first LP.
–Philip Larkin (June 16, 1967)

THE KEY TO IT ALL: A FOUR-LETTER WORK ENDING IN -K
Oddly enough, in an age where we are on email and cell phones 24/7, our communication skills seem to have broken down completely. There may be a lot of TALK, but not a lot of listening. The best mobile network or WiFi connection, but no communion.

What passes for busi-ness is really just BUSY-ness, and writing the To Do List, is a substitute for actually doing the things on the list. Which means the list will NEVER get done. There will always be a new list. So why not add intercourse to you list?

Have you ever thought about the word intercourse? It means TALK as well!

To be strictly accurate, the word intercourse is defined as:

The exchange of ideas by writing, speech, or signals: communication, communion, intercommunication (Roget s II: The New Thesaurus, Third Edition. 1995)

Isn’t THAT the kind of romantic relationship you would like? Real intercommuncation and communion?

IS THERE REALLY ANY SUCH THING AS ‘HAVING IT ALL’?

Often the couples who want to ‘have it all’ end up having the least amount of sex and romance. It’s like everything else on the to do list is more important.

Or, as some psychologists have suggested, that people get married/settle down so they can stop having sex/looking for sex. They want to focus on other things, career, house, nesting, children.

Sex is sacrificed in favor of ‘getting ahead’-but many partners wake up one day and wonder how on earth they got HERE? How the romance may hve started out so blissfully, and ended up relegated to a furtive fumble every few weeks if you’re lucky.

Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.
Karl Kraus

Focusing on long term goals is fine, so long as BOTH couples are on board with that agenda. And not BORED with it.

If you ARE wondering how you got HERE, and ARE Bored with the lack of romantic spark in your relationship, read on…

See more at Keeping the Romance in Your Relationship Part 2

January 20, 2012By admin Romance love, relationships, romanceLeave a Comment

How to Earn Extra Money Even in This Recession, Part 2

(continued from Part 1)

3. Try Fiverr.com.
Fiverr.com is a website that allows anyone to post a product or service that costs $5. The website takes $1, so your earnings will be $4 per task. If the task only takes 15 minutes to complete, then you have the potential to earn up to $16 an hour. If you can think of offering a service that doesn’t take a lot of time, you can make some decent spending money. Logo design, for instance, does not need to take that long if you are skilled at PhotoShop. There are also several other websites similar to Fiverr.com that allow you to charge up to $25 for quick services or products. A Google search for “Fiverr Clones” should show you several sites that are worth considering. Even if you are working full time, you can use your spare time after work, or even before work or during your lunch hour, to start earning more.

4. Buy a storage unit at an auction.
Or more correctly, purchase the contents of a storage unit. This practice occurs when people put items in storage and then fail to pay their rental fees. Eventually the property devolves to the rental place, who will sell the items in order to recoup their rent. The items will be auctioned site unseen. This practice can be hit or miss, since people might be storing a whole bunch of clothes or other personal items with little to no resale value. However, if you think about the success of eBay, you will know that many people are actually making a living from purchasing the contents of abandoned storage units and selling what they find. CDs, old records, books, tapes, and other collectibles can all be found in this way and sold on. Sell the junk at a garage sale and the good stuff on eBay. With a little luck, that $200 storage unit could be worth $10,000 or more.

There are certain rules, tricks and tips to selling on eBay that you will want to become familiar with before making such a commitment, so start small with a few items in your home and then take it from there. Also consider selling the latest titles as used books on Amazon. Become familiar with good packaging and mailing practices to be sure that any parcels you send out go by a traceable means and arrive promptly and undamaged. Remember that you will get ratings as a seller at all of the sites you participate on, so be prepared to offer good customer service.

If you still have a job but you are underpaid, underemployed, or both, these are just a few of the ways that you can make extra money to pay off debts, start an emergency fund, or start saving for your financial goals for the future.

How to Earn Extra Money Even in This Recession, Part 1

If you have been affected by the poor economy and are struggling to make ends meet, it may seem almost impossible to come up with any ways to make more money. After all, unemployment is high and there are no jobs, right?

Not necessarily. While there may not be a lot of full-time jobs with high salaries and a good benefits package, the truth is that just because millions of people have been laid off does not mean their work was not important and no longer needs to be done. It is true that some companies have outsourced the work overseas in order to cut down on costs, the truth is that there is a lot of part-time work available if you are willing to take it. And there are jobs out there if you are willing to take a pay cut.

Before you make these decisions, you need to run your numbers. Look at your household budget and trim any luxuries. Then look at the bottom line for the minimum you need each month to keep your household afloat without using credit cards or biting into savings. If you are unemployed, how does your level of payment match up? If it doesn’t you will want to go back to work sooner rather than later, even if you do have to take a pay cut. If you are considering a part-time job, see how it would affect your benefit. You may find that it pays more, though perhaps not much more.

If you are still working but have decided you don’t earn enough and/or want to save for a rainy day in an emergency fund, or for a particular life goal, then you will also want to look at ways to bring in additional income. Here are a few suggestions.

1. Get a part-time job.
This is the first idea that may pop into your mind when you think of sources of temporary income. If you have a certain set of special skills, then you can command a reasonable wage per hour. If you do not have a lot of skills, more menial jobs like shift work and waitressing can help you plug any gaps in your budget. Jobs that pay tips have the possibility of paying very well, though in this economy, don’t bank on it.

2. Freelance.
If you have skills that people need, such as designing websites or creating great graphics or PowerPoint presentations, your skills are in high demand right in your own city and indeed all over the world. Join one of the popular freelancing sites like elance, elancer, odesk or rentacoder and create a great profile for yourself and portfolio of your work There are a lot of people on there now due to so many others being in the same position as yourself, but quality and speed at the right price can help you stand out. You may be able to get enough contract work at one of these sites to keep you pretty busy and you might make more money than you would think. Just remember to stay in close communication with your clients and that good reviews will be the key to getting hired by others.

(Continued in Part 2)

December 11, 2011By admin Finance, General, Money financie, money, recessionLeave a Comment

Credit Card Question, Part 2

Continued from Part 1
*Insurance Coverage
Also remember that charging certain items on a major credit card can confer some extra benefits. For example, car rental liability insurance is offered by some major credit card companies. If your card has this coverage, you don’t need to pay the incredibly high fees for the “loss and damage waiver” car rental companies try to charge you when you rent a car.

Insurance coverage for baggage lost when you fly is also available, depending on the credit card you choose. In fact, some credit card companies offering this insurance actually cover in addition to what the airline will pay you for lost bags. This baggage coverage is no cost on some credit cards and is well worth having. Travel insurance is also included, so that you would not lose the whole cost of the flight, and would just need to pay a ticket change fee of about $50 to $100 if an emergency cropped up. If the flight is a long-haul one, this insurance coverage is worth having.

*Consumer Protection
Price protection for items you purchase that drop in price after you buy them is offered by some companies. Stores must allow a 30 day ‘cooling off’ period with an unconditional money-back guarantee. They should honor any price differences and refund the money within 30 days. Some major credit card companies allow up to 60 days and will refund you such price differences.

*Fraud Protection
A debit card will not usually confer all of these perks. And indeed, the major difference is the most crucial one: You liability with credit cards in the event of identity theft or fraud will be zero or much lower with a credit card than with a debit card. With a credit card, if you suspect anything fraudulent, you have up to 90 days to report it. With a debit card, you need to report it within 2 business days. Otherwise, you will be liable.

If you do not look at your online banking account that often, or you are overseas, for example, this can be a major financial disaster. Therefore, use your debit card only sparingly for online purchases, and use a credit card instead because of all the extras it offers. Then pay off the bill at the end of each month.

*Determine Your Benefits and Weigh Risks Versus Rewards

One final suggestion is to take time to read all the fine print on a credit card application to determine what special privileges and perks you get with your card, or call customer service and ask. Then choose to use the card that gives you the most benefits in terms of cash back, benefits, insurance, and other perks.

Credit cards do not have to be a disaster and can indeed improve your credit score and even help you save money if you care cautious and learn how to use them to your advantage financially.

For more information on how to improve your family finances, see

Emergency Fund 101: How to Save Money for Unexpected Expenses

and

Your Recession Survival Guide

December 4, 2011By admin Finance, General, Money business, credit cards, finance, moneyLeave a Comment

Credit Card Question, Part 1

Q. I’ve finally learned my lesson when it comes to credit cards. After charging up four credit card accounts and spending four years paying them off, I don’t ever want to see my name on another credit card again. In fact, I want to cut all of them up and close all my accounts. However, my friend says that I should keep the accounts open and keep one card just in case of emergencies. Which one of us is right? And won’t a debit card work just as well?

A. Congratulations on paying off your credit card debt and being so determined never to get in that kind of position again. We are glad that you have found strategies that work well for you to help you manage your money.

However, your friend does have a good point about your credit cards, for a number of reasons.

*Your credit score and credit to debt ratio.
You credit score is in part determined by how much credit you are permitted by financial institutions. If you close all your accounts, you could be lowering your credit score. Therefore, now that your cards are paid off, keep the accounts open, but put the cards in a safe place where you will not be tempted to use them, except in the most dire emergency.

Keep one available with a low interest rate and possibly cash back points and only use if for essentials and items you could not readily pay for in cash, such as online shopping. The key for using a credit card is never to charge more in a month than you can pay off at the end of the month.

*Rewards cards
Some rewards are worth having, such as free airline miles for purchases, but only if you are a great traveller. Otherwise, go for the cash back. Just be aware that studies have recently shown that people who use rewards based cards tend to spend 4% more each time they use it than cards that do not carry such perks. So make your shopping list and stick to it.

Continued in part 2

December 1, 2011By admin Asset Management, Finance, General, Money credit card, finance, moneyLeave a Comment

How to Start Your Own Business With Little or No Money, Part 2

(Continued from Part 1)

4-Become an affiliate.
An affiliate sells products and services for a commission. You are probably familiar with Avon and Tupperware, in which people sell products to friends and family, host parties and so on. This is commonly referred to as direct selling, and is done in person.

You can also sell products online for a commission, in which case it is referred to as being an affiliate. There are many affiliate marketplaces in which top companies and designer brands recruit people to sell for them.

The largest marketplaces for affiliate selling are Commission Junction (cj.com), LinkShare and ShareASale. Amazon and eBay also have affiliate programs. You don’t even need a website to sell these products. Simply create your links and put them in the signature files of your emails, put at the end of any posting you create on notice board or forum, use in the comments section of a blog you read and use in your social networking area.

If you do have a website, so much the better. You can post [honest] reviews of the products you are selling, the latest hot items in your niche, and more.

Choose a niche, that is, an area of expertise, and stick to it. Study it carefully and know what people like and are genuinely interested in. For example, if you are a real movie buff, then selling DVDS is a great option. Do not do it, however, if you barely ever see a film.

Being an affiliate can be a fun and interesting way to make your own money and even start your own side business. You promote the products, and the company you are an affiliate for does the rest, taking care of all the order fulfillment, packing and shipping. The commissions may not be that high, but they are better than nothing.

You can also consider being an affiliate as an ‘instant discount’ on any products and services that you buy. For example, you shop online at Amazon anyway (and tens of millions of people do), become an Amazon Associate, then set up a second account so you can buy through your own link and get instant savings.

Being between jobs doesn’t mean you have to do without income. You might also want to supplement your income from your day job, or start moving towards the financial and personal freedom you long for by starting your own business.

There are many ways to start your own business even with little or no spare cash, if you are willing to put in the time and effort. The ideas above are just a starting point to get you thinking about all of your available options.

As an added bonus, by earning any sort of temporary income, you can start creating the kind of wealth you need to start the business of your dreams. You will also be coming into contact with people who may be able to help you find a permanent position.

Further Reading
YOUR RECESSION SURVIVAL GUIDE: How to Save Money and Even Boost Your Income in This Recession

How to Start a Successful Small Business Even If You Don’t Have Much Cash

How to Make Money with Affiliate Marketing Even Without a Website

Information Marketing Success: How to Make the Most of Your Online Content for Increased Traffic and Profits