YOU’VE LOST THAT LOVIN’ FEELING?
If you have been together for some time with your partner, and feel that passion had gone onto the back burner, or worse still, in the freezer with the ready meals, why not consider a romance agreement?
It might help you spark things anew, or at least put your needs as man and woman back out on the table, and possibly even defrost them too. We will give an exampe of one later in this series.
PASSION IS FOR PARENTS TOO!
Yes, you might be parents, but what were all the things you loved most about each other that brought you together in the first place.
And as someone once said to me, “You most important job as a parent is loving your partner, because no matter what, you will always be connected through that child.”
What kind of connection, or dis-connection, are you creating in your house?
As your children are growing up, you will constantly be giving them messages about how to express love, and what makes a good marriage.
Obviously, the sexual side of your relationship should always remain private around small children and other members of you family and friends, but an atmosphere of appreciation, romance and connection, love and affection, is something you can cultivate with your partner all the time.
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE
Best of all, the best things in life really are free, or inexpensive. It doesn’t take much to leave a love note, send a ‘Thinking of You’ text message or email, or bring up a cup of coffee to your partner before you head off it work. There are so many different ways to show you are thinking of your partner, it is just a case of knowing his or her likes and needs.
LOVE THEM THEY WAY THEY WISH TO BE LOVED, NOT THE WAY YOU WISH TO LOVE THEM—OR BE LOVED YOURSELF
We might think that we ARE trying to cultivate romance, and our partner is the ‘unromantic one’. This perspective can cause hositlity and resentment.
But remember, everyone has their own point of view. Most of the time, we are in our own head; often, we can even get stuck there and become convinced that ours is not only the RIGHT point of view, but IS actually the ONLY point of view.
We tend to love the way WE wish to be loved. We probably don’t give our guy a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, just like they don’t give us a socket wrench set for our birthday.
But are there expectations in your relationship on his part, or yours, which are equally out of synch with their likes and dislikes?
THE BEST OF TIMES, THE WORST OF TIMES
Can you name three of the best times you ever had with your partner—do they have a common theme? Can they do the same? Can you come up with the three WORST times you spent together as well?
BEST and WORST are also very subjective notions, but chances are if you and your partner cultivate more times like the ones on your top 3 lists, your connections will continue and grow even closer.
Again, LISTEN to your partner, taking the trouble to learn THEIR likes and dislikes. Try not to hear what they are saying with a ‘filter’ of your own tastes, or some preconceived notion of what romance ‘is supposed to be like’. Really listening with your heart and mind will help you discover the way THEY actually wish to be loved.
Read more in:
Keeping the Romance in Your Relationship Part 3
