Do you know your numbers when it comes to cholesterol?
We are not just talking about your overall readings, but what each number represents.
If you are not sure or just need a refresher, head over to the Cholesterol Management Center at WebMD.
February is Heart Health Month, so be smart and care for your heart. IT is the hardest-working muscle in your body and lowering your cholesterol can help it do its work better and reduce your risk of heart attack.
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In our continuing look at romance, one thing we have to consider is what the other person is seeing.
CAN YOU SEE THE REAL ME?
We are very visual as human beings. So yes, it is true, that guy may have a great personality, but if you don’t even get to the longing looks in their direction stage, you are probably missing out. You know what I’m talking about too, girls, if you have ever wondered why some girls get all the attention, and you feel you are invisible.
Again, chemistry and compatibility are two essential ingredients in any relationship. I’ve been really interested to watch the interplay between Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton when they have appeared on the campaign trail recently.
Whatever issues they may have had in the past, it is pretty clear that they enjoy being with each other, joke and tease, intellectually stimulate one another, and respect and admire each other as people. There’s still a spark and twinkle for both of them, quite an achievement after so many years.
My grandparents were married 55 years, and it was the same with them. They were best friends and prefered to be with each other to anyone else. Which was not to say they didn’t have hundred of friends, but that spark never died.
Romantic love can endure, if you choose to focus your energy and attention on it. It can all start with that one longing look, or a second and third look. One thing’s for sure, everyone adores the idea of love at first sight, but even more important is love at last look. If you are open to the idea that relationships are all about relating, communication, those longing looks can be the perfect start to a lifetime of deep, abiding connection.
Happy Valentine’s Day with your partner, if you have one, and if you are single, well, start giving and getting some long, lingering looks.
In our continuing series, we look at the nature of romance in the modern world.
A VIEW FROM THE OFFICE
Then there is the office romance,not as taboo as it once was, but definitely another ‘delicate’ romantic issue that has to be dealt with carefully for the same reason. You don’t want to dumpt garbage or toxic waste on your desk. You also don’t want to be a source of gossip and distraction in the work place, or get distracted.
Another reason for avoiding the office romance is to ensure you don’t make people uncomfortable, especially if there is too much ‘chemistry’ going on between you. Trying to ‘get a room’ in the supply closet is never a good idea, yet somehow we think we will get away with it, or that no one will know!
Believe me, everyone will know. I’ve seen far too many people, especially women, lose their jobs over office romances, for me to recommend them.
WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU WANT
There is nothing quite like romance and longing looks, the way your heart flutters when that special person enters a room. If you are missing that sensation, then you are missing out.
It is great to have someone to share life’s experiences with, good and bad, but if you would rather bake cookies or finish your excel spreadsheet than spend time with your loved one, you need a romance reality check.
WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET
One of the most fun times in a relationship is when you are first ‘seeing each other’. Curious phrase, that means you are only now noticing each other. Hopefully noticing, and picking up clues about the other person and what you can share in a meaningful way.
One of the great things about dating is exploring all your options. If there is something you see that you think is a character trait or habit you can’t live with long-term, well, better to know it now than later.
IS SEEING REALLY BELIEVING?
Having said that, there is always the honeymoon period in any relationship, which usually lasts about 5 to 8 months before things start to pop up. I always think of Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney-whirlwind courtship, 5 month marriage, and whatever she SAW in him at first was not only gone, but the new aspects she SAW were so horrifying, she didn’t even just get a divorce, she got an annulment. The marriage never happened? It must have been pretty awful indeed.
But again, that was HER mind. However, do use common sense.
On the other hand, their character may unfold before you more gradually. They might surprise you in a crisis, or conversely, let you down when you need them most. Therefore, it is important to get to know each other and find these things out about the other person before you start planning a future with them, only to wake up one morning and find yourself alone.
Sometimes our advantages can become our weaknesses. If you’re retired or getting close to retirement, you may have some great things going for you, such as an excellent credit rating, your own your home, without any mortgage, and a substantial retirement nest egg.
However, these great things, along with your age, can also put you at greater risk for a range of frauds targeting older people, who usually have more savings but are looking to earn more. We are going to look at a few of the most common frauds perpetrated on seniors, and what you can do to avoid being taken advantage of.
Job Contractor Fraud
If you own your own home, sooner or later it is going to need repair, especially if you have been living in it for some time and your health prevents you from making the repairs yourself. Contractor scams happen when the contractor asks for the money up front and does not do it, does work that was not agreed upon, and then demands to be paid, or worst of all, does repairs that are bot necessary and then often overcharges for the work, too.
Other common variants include:
* Using admittance into your residence as a means to burglarize it
* Convincing owners to be part of fraudulent insurance claims
Reputable contractors don’t generally go knocking on doors to drum up business. If your house needs some work done, it is usually better to ask around for referrals, or investigate contractors listed by your local Better Business Bureau. See what reviews are posted about them, and look to see if there are any complaints against them before you ever agree to any work being done. Do not pay them until the work is completed to your satisfaction and as agreed upon.
Reverse Mortgage Fraud
Reverse mortgages can be a legitimate technique used in order to gain access to the equity, the money invested, in your home. These are most commonly referred to as home equity conversion mortgages (HECM). HECMs are insured by the Federal Housing Authority (FHA). They were created so that people 62 years and older could easily get hold of some of the equity from their principal residence and make life easier for themselves financially once they retired. The mortgage would be paid off, and a reverse mortgage would value the house and then give you either a lump sum, annual payout, or monthly pay out for you to live on, but still let you and your partner stay in the house until both of you passed away.
A problem can occur with non-HECM reverse mortgages, however, especially ones that sound to good to be true. Some seniors have ended up as an unsuspecting pawn in a property-flipping scheme, or billed huge fees by an unscrupulous “advisor” that simply handles the standard paperwork involved with a normal HECM loan. If you’re interested in a reverse mortgage, your bank or a reputable mortgage broker is a good place to start. Again, no one reputable will never need to go door to door to drum up business.
Investment Fraud
While people of all ages are taken in by various investment frauds, seniors seem to be targeted the most often, most likely because they have substantial savings that can usually be accessed quickly.
Always be skeptical and double check with a trusted professional when it comes to your life savings. Don’t succumb to any time pressure tactics; if it’s something that you have to decide right now, your answer right now should be “NO.” False time limits are a common technique to get people to commit their hard-earned money to a fraud. They are not giving you enough time to think and make any sort of sensible decision or be able to dig deeper, such as on the Internet, to find out if the offer is a scam or not.
It probably doesn’t seem fair that you as a senior have to constantly be on the look out for fraud in your golden years, but you have worked too hard for your money and house to lose it to scammers. Always ask the right questions, and remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
If you think you have been the victim of a scam, or a scammer has come to your door and is pressuring you, report it to the police. Hopefully the scammer will be stopped before he can harm anyone else. Don’t be an easy victim. Remain alert, and fight fraud.
FURTHER READING
For more great tips on how to make the most of your money, visit the Eternal Spiral Books Money Matters section.
AVOIDING THE ROSE COLORED GLASSES
Keeping that spark alive is also a question of clear vision, and not viewing everything through rose-colored glasses. The person you have sparked with may be great as a date, but as a person you want to share a long-term future with? He might be Mr Right Now, not Mr Right.
Again, this is fine if you’re both clear and honest about your desires and expectations. If you don’t see eye to eye, and each have a different focus, and a different vision of the future, however, there will be a lot of resentment, anger, and frustration, which will eventually suffocate even the best relationships.
A CHANGE OF FOCUS?
Romance can also involve looking at a person you already know in a whole new way. In other words, a change of focus.
For instance, there’s the ‘person next door’: guy or girl you have tons in common with, and spend so much time with, that you get to the point where you would rather be with them than anyone else.
Does shifting your focus from the platonic to the romantic involve a slow burn, major sparkage, or idle curiosity, or convenience? Or an avoidance of loneliness?
DIFFERING POINTS OF VIEW
There’s nothing wrong with any of these reasons, but it is best to be honest about it. Otherwise, from that person’s point of view he or she might be turning you into ‘the one’ and you’re just looking for a friend with benefits. Again, it is a question of focus.
LOOK WITHIN CLEARLY
It’s best to take a long look at yourself first, before engaging in a relationship of this sort. Even worse, if you live in close proximity, it could be the romantic equivalent of dumping garbage or even toxic waste on your own doorstep. Not a good idea!
The best way to decide if the person is Mr. Right or Mr. Right now is to be honest about who you are and where you want to go in life. If you can picture them on that journey into the future with you, then they may be worth spending time on. Just remember, you can’t get back any wasted time if they do not have the same view of the future that you do.
Love, romance and long, lingering looks…
That’s the stuff of what romance is made of, right?
Well, yes. In part.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
There is nothing more exciting than meeting someone for the first time and feeling that spark. Or, with any luck, that bolt of lightning.
However, it doesn’t always strike, and yes, sometimes it can strike twice—or more. And sometimes it can also be a disaster.
There is nothing better than that rush of electricity and energy when you first meet a new romantic interest. But it can also fizzle out very quickly without additional energy being put into the relationship, hopefully on both sides.
TAKING A SECOND LOOK
Yet let’s face facts—how many guys really want to WORK on a relationship? They work from 9 to 5, sometimes longer, so for most guys, the high maintenance relationship is not something they are going to be interested in long-term.
For both genders, there is often the naïve assumption that relationships are just totally natural and happen all by themselves.
Then there is the other end of the spectrum—”I do all the work in this relationship.”
Let’s go back to that spark for a minute. What if you were able to re-capture that sensation over and over again? Eye contact, flirtiness, light touches and caresses, without being too suffocating, can all maintain that feeling of when you first met. It is all a question of focus.
It doesn’t sound like too much hard work, does it? You don’t have to cook gourmet meals, follow the Cosmo sex articles to the letter, or make sure his socks are ironed, for your man to think you are awesome, perfect even, so long as you keep that spark alive.
Read on in:
Love, Romance And Long, Lingering Looks… Seeing, Focus, And Believing In Romantic Relationships Part 2
Stopping foreclosure might not always be possible, but if you do nothing at all, you will definitely not be able to stop it.
If it is the difference between keeping hope alive, and keeping your home, or just giving up and hiding, choose to be more pro-active if you think you are in danger of foreclosure.
There are many different things that you should consider when attempting to stop a foreclosure. First of all, remember that it has happened to many other people besides yourself. It does not make you stupid, or a bad person, it just means that you need help. You need a reality check, and you need a plan on how to deal with foreclosure.
If you are at least three months behind on your monthly mortgage payments then you are definitely at higher risk of losing your home and there probably will not be anything you can do if you choose to wait until then before ever attempting to be proactive in any way.
If some extra bills have come up and you are already thinking that you might possibly have to put off paying your monthly mortgage payment, go ahead and give the mortgage company a phone call. By taking action before something happens, just when you suspect that it may, you are being proactive.
People who end up in financial trouble for whatever reason who are on their toes are typically the ones that can and will prevent foreclosure on their home.
You must be assertive in trying to make arrangements with your mortgage company because if all you do is sit around and cry about being behind on those monthly payments, they are not ever going to want to speak with you about anything.
Trust me, as unbelievable as it may sound, the mortgage company truly does NOT want you to lose your home due to foreclosure. They really don’t want an empty house that they can’t sell, or will have to sell cheaply. They want regular monthly payments coming in, especially all the lovely interest you are paying them!
Maybe they should have possibly used better judgment whenever they were approving you for any type of mortgage loan and letting you purchase a home through their lending company. They are normally very willing to speak with you to try to work out some sort of solution.
There is no reason at all for you to just wait around for them to call. You can and should make the first move. That will look really responsible to them and they will absolutely take note of that responsible behavior and pro-active attitude, and will more than likely allow you to tell them the entire story as to why you were late on your monthly mortgage payments.
Once you have discussed your difficult circumstances with them, and hopefully some sort of plan for what to do to make up the arrears, and how soon you think you can do this realistically, story with them, chances are they will take your suggested payment plan seriously.
If you suggest you will get a second job, or your wife will go back to work part-time, or you show them a well-thought out household budget that you will stick to, then changes are they will be willing to work out some type of payment arrangement with you, often right on the spot so you can avoid foreclosure.
It does not always work out, but being pro-active is going to get you much closer towards preventing foreclosure than just giving up.
Remember, whenever you are planning a budget, make sure you take care of the most important aspects first–housing, utilities, food, car if you really have no other means of getting to work and tending to your shopping and so on.
Everything else is OPTIONAL, including credit card payments. Can you get some wiggle room there? Get a lower APR on the cards you do have?
A good sound budget may mean tightening your belt for a number of months, but it is better to do whatever you can NOW to possibly stop foreclosure, so that you won’t lose all the equity you have in the home, and lose everything you have worked so hard for throughout the years just because you have hit a bad patch.
For more information on foreclosure and what you can do to be more proactive about stopping foreclosure, visit:
http://www.hud.gov/foreclosure/index.cfm
