HEARTFELT COMMITMENT
The subtitle of Dr Chapman’s book, How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, is also a valuable lesson in romance, which should be felt in the heart.
If you are constantly discontent and always thinking that the grass is greener elsewhere in another garden, you are not expressing heartfelt connection and commitment with your partner.
You are also causing your own unhappiness, because it is your mind creating the discontent by constantly comparing and contracsting what you have, with what you wish for–or think you wish for.
I always thought I wanted a Westie terrier-I ended up with an abandoned 14 year old with sharp teeth, jaws of steel, and kidney failure. I always thought I wanted a cocker spaniel, but $10,000 in vet’s bills later… You get the idea.
AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
Yes, I got my Westie, and she was hard work, especially toward the end, having to give her an IV every day when she wanted nothing more than to rip my arm off and eat it! But the joy she felt when we gave her a bath, or when she hunted squirrels in the park with my 4 year old dog, was wonderful to see.
I got the cocker spaniel I always wanted, but she came with a host of health problems, but each day she improves and grows in confidence, and knows she is loved and adored for the first time in her life. I am grateful every day for the unconditional love she gives not just to me, but the whole family.
PERFECT IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER
Neither of my dogs is perfect—tbut then, perfect is in the mind of the beholder. The same is true of your partner. And yes, he might have seemed perfect at first, and then he changed.
Is it really that he changed, or, is it that your point of view or opinion changed? That once you were out of the infatuation phase of the relationship (which usually lasts 5- 8 months) and once you are married and past the honeymoon, the things you thought once thought were adorably quirky end up being as annoying as fingernails on a blackboard.
But by being grateful for the little things every day, you’ll stop looking for greener grass. You’ll be happy with the grass itself. You will also be thankful for the challenges that your partner brings to your life, such as helping you learn to be more patient and how to try to live in peace and harmony.
This article is continued in Keeping the Romance in Your Relationship Part 5.
